hey

So on Saturday went to my first bachelorette party ever!! A limousine driver was supposed to pick me up at 4:30 to take me and my cousins into New York dinner started at seven at 530 the limo driver still hadn't arrived. So we called and found out that they had deleted my reservation from the computer so my uncle had to call the place just to find the limo company you who I could use for the day unfortunately no such luck my cousin's boyfriend canceled his plans to go to Atlantic City just to take us girls to the bachelorette party my cousin Christine was able to come because she dislocated her knee, when her pet pig started chasing after another pagan bumped right into her. (She works at the farm at her school) so as a result she is in a wheelchair with her leg in a brace. She can work for a while because of the injury, but she can certainly go to a bachelorette party . There was no dancing or anything like that at the party. It was mostly dinner and a lot of drinking. We got there really late at like nine o'clock and their reservation was only from seven until 10, but thank God we didn't get kicked out or turned away or anything. I ended up having a chicken fajita, minus the fajita part as gifts we gave her a bunch of lingerie, so as a result, I can't post all the photos until after the wedding. It was a prerequisite that I drink alcohol at the party not my usual soda . So I ordered a strawberry margarita or more specifically was ordered for me and I was ordered to drink it. I really enjoyed it actually. It didn't taste that bad. You could still taste the tequila and it was really strong. So as a result I only drank about three quarters of it, because everybody at the table was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to drive my wheelchair and my cousins were also worried that I'd throw up on them during the ride home. And I was getting a headache in the room was tilting to the side a little. So I stuck with soda the rest of the night. But now I've found another alcoholic beverage that I can actually tolerate in terms of taste at least strawberry margaritas, I like strawberry daiquiris and well I'm not too crazy about the rum. So as a result, I basically waste a drink and order a soda shortly thereafter . However with the strawberry margaritas it seems to be a completely different story. So it's 10 days until the reversal dinner down in Cape May am I ready for it?? I'm not sure I'd know Amanda for almost half my life, but after my brother gets married our relationship is probably going to change and I'm not sure that I'm ready for that really if you haven't noticed by now I'm scared of the unknown that stuff terrifies me because I automatically think when something is going to change it's going to be for the worse not better.. I become a lot more optimistic, but most of the time people don't see that because I'm petrified about it. It's been almost a year since my grandmother passed away. Going on to keep me still doesn't feel right without her even though a couple years before she died she stopped coming down to the house in Cape May. I never used to like Cape May , and I'm still not that crazy about it either. A couple years ago I started going down the Cape May every other weekend with her. I still think of the room that she slept in, which was basically the family room as her's. It has a big TV and everything. A lot of my German relatives, are coming I haven't seen them for a year now. Sometimes one of them would come stay for two weeks and then six months later, another family member would do the same thing. So pretty much every six months. I would see one of my German relatives, if not several it's going to be so weird now that my grandmother's gone to see them. I mean, basically they would come just to visit with her and now they really don't come to see us that often. My grandmother was ecstatic when she found out that her eldest grandson, and his long-term girlfriend had gotten engaged they were dating for 12 years basically, she even started crocheting something for her first great grandchild, I think. There are many things that remain unfinished at least in perspective, I wanted her to see me get married, graduate with my bachelors degree in whatever. See my brother get married children. My brother and Amanda didn't set the wedding date until a couple months ago, partially because they were having a hard time finding a priest that was available, and partially because my grandmother had just passed away. It's amazing to me, that I've been living my life without her for almost a year, I still think about her every day wondering what she's doing, how she's feeling. Besides happy, I mean, I always wonder if she misses us. And if she sad that she can't be with us. I just found out my cousin Courtney is getting married about two months ago, I don't know if I told you guys or not but I found out at Amanda's bridal shower. Her and her boyfriend have been going out for about six years he was planning on proposing soon, but things didn't go that way now she's expecting a little baby boy and getting married