Welcome to my World

Hey everyone,

I just have to discuss the memorial service of Michael Jackson.. it started really at around 1:30 PM Eastern standard Time. And it was a long service complete with memories shared by Brooke Shields, Magic Johnson, Smokey Robinson, and performances by Lionel Richie, Usher, Mariah Cary, Jennifer Hudson, Jermaine Jackson but it was one of the most touching memorials I've ever witnessed on TV . The Staples Center was packed with some 16,000+ people not to mention various memorials that were going on simultaneously around the world. I still have a hard time believing he's gone. The man was and is a complete musical genius. Not to mention a humanitarian. I cried twice during that whole ceremony. Good thing, he still continues to inspire people throughout the world. And I hope that resolution really passes in the Congress.. he was a major part of my childhood and his influence still resonates with other individuals besides myself. I think he was part of the reason my childhood was so very great. I remember dancing around my old house with various family members with a huge smile on my face. Just thinking about it makes me tear up

Laterz

Hey,

can you believe it's already July 3?? That means the year is already half over. I have yet to decide which side I'm on. At times the year goes to slow however there have been instances where the year but was way too fast.

I am updating on twitter like crazy. I just wish they would extend the character count. 140 is too little, especially for yours truly. However, if there intent is to make everyone sound like mindless idiots they're doing a pretty good job. Most of my updates are chopped in half because the whole thing won't fit. And I really don't want to continue the rest of the thought in another update. But I think I'm about to change my mind about that. Some people I follow along there really don't update that often. Did I tell you that Britney Spears follows my tweets? I can better direct messages, because I follow her to the only thing I'm confused about is one thing the mention part? If you mention someone in a post will they see it? Because I often reply to the people that I follow. So can they see it? Someone has got to like answer this question because I feel like a mindless idiot. I looked it up on this site, but I really don't understand. So could someone be kind enough to explain it to me. By the way, do not sign up for VIP Twitter train. Because now I have 351 followers in six days and I think that those are automated but whatever I don't have to see their posts if I don't want to thank God.. because I would hate to patrol my own account.

So I'm heading down to Point Pleasant, New Jersey to celebrate our nation's birth. I've been down the shore, but I've never been there so I'm super excited.. plus I get to go down to the boardwalk and have some funnel cake..

someone needs to teach me how to do the mood themes. Not making them just how to use them. There's still some stuff about this site that I have no idea how to do. I need a step-by-step instruction book at times if someone could enlighten me that would be absolutely great. I feel like I'm in kindergarten. And usually I'm good at all things computer related

So Palin resigned as Alaska governor, um... I honestly thought she was doing a good job and she actually liked her job.. I know the stresses of not being able to hang out with your kids and not have a personal life. But didn't you already know that when you got in the field of politics.. I guess not makes you wonder what would've happened if McCain won the election. Would she have up and left the VP position too?

GH is going black for two weeks. Now for those of you who don't know what that is that means that production has basically ceased while the writers do major rewrites.. granting many actors some much-needed vacation..*cough* Burton *cough* maybe now He'll actually sign on the dotted line.. I'm all for pretty much giving the man, whatever the hell he wants at this point, no character/actor is as involved as he is. And let's be real for a second, he is one of the essential players on the show. If he left the show a lot of people would leave with him. Not that he would leave for a long stretch of time, I don't think. He left for 13 months in 2001, but he came back.

He is heavily involved in a storyline coming up with Kelly Monaco. That supposedly will bring them back together as a couple since they were billed from the beginning as the destiny couple which is like soap language for the couple that will Always end up together so I can not wait for this.

Laterz
Have a great Holiday

I woke up this morning to find out Farrah Fawcett died of cancer this morning very sad I liked her a lot.

Around three hours later Michael Jackson is rushed to an LA hospital due to cardiac arrest. Upon arriving at the hospital they continued to try to resuscitate Michael to no avail he was declared dead a short time later. At first, many confirmed his death, but then rumors surfaced that he was in the ICU in very critical condition. Finally when the commotion died down it was confirmed that he was indeed dead. He is my favorite male singer of all time I never thought that Michael Jackson would actually die. It sounds crazy, but I thought of him is pretty much invincible throughout the 80s and the 90s every song he released was a number one hit he was unstoppable it was in recent years that his health and appearance declined dramatically. Right now I'm listening to all my Michael Jackson songs on my playlist as a tribute to a great performer who was taken from us way before his time.

I've succumbed to the twitter nation I really wasn't that into it at first. Updating every couple of days or weeks but now I'm a total twitt head I update every few hours except when I'm sleeping it just started today.. I even have a application called tweetDeck that is always in my application window and I've even linked it to my Facebook page too well in case anyone wants to follow me here is my link

http://twitter.com/LisaGoldschmidt

Laterz

Okay I just read this about five minutes ago.. there's a row going around that they're going to put Michael with Kristina romantically speaking.. the majority of the show I'm very happy with this present moment but supposedly that's why they brought Michael back from his coma I know they're not blood related but come on seriously? You're telling me that there is no one around her age other than her brother via adoption to pair her with.. I thought I was grossed out whenshe was trying to throw herself at Jason

Have you ever been so bored that you think of the craziest thing. Things that come from utterly nowhere.. well not technically nowhere something sparks your thought process and you keep thinking about it.

Yeah that's me.. I'm not nuts.. I over think things constantly I'm very indecisive I am my own version of ADD.. I spent hours on rainy days like this one just lost in thought. Half the time people say I live in the past instead of the right now.. I don't know why. I guess I just like where I've been in my fault that my memories are just that good. I'm scared of what the future will hold what it will bring I'd just rather kind of just let it happen.. even all the past couple years. It's really not in the highlights of my life. So the question is why don't I do something to change it. That's the question , if you want to make something out of yourself. Don't you need to actively do something about it? Cause I'm certainly not getting anywhere, from what I'm doing at the present moment. A lot of people say that when you are actively doing something life just kinda happens.. you are really looking for it but hey it happen along the way

so much of my friends from a website entitled Dominoes and Tequila (a website including a message board of the best couple ever in daytime.Jason and Sam) went to a PA event featuring my favorite actor Steve Burton who plays Jason General Hospital. The pictures are absolutely scrumptious I keep telling him that I want to go to one of these but I'm just too worried that I'll act like a complete idiot and embarrassed myself and all my friends.


It's weird, online relationships whether they be friendships or otherwise is kind of strange concept because you know these people only buy what they tell you if they decide to edit personal details along the way that's great but technically there is one thing that starts off a friendship..

we know each other by our usernames and I'm really only gives a clue on who these people are if your interest is piqued then you hang out with them on the computer. And I kind of like that in a way because I can choose or not choose to reveal little details about my life

Okay, I must admit that I was watching one of my old favorite TV shows when I was younger. About 10 years ago, I don't know if you guys remember it or not, by the TV show was called so weird aired on the Disney channel from 1999 to 2001. I was watching an episode called avatar in which this boy kind of lives his life in fantasy world and gets trapped inside and he doesn't exactly want to get out of it either. got me thinking . I spend much of my day online . I like it but it's only one dimensional really so it's not like I have the relationship with my computer.. not necessarily the people at least not in a face-to-face manner...


I told you what happens when I think too much but can you imagine what is going on in my head if I think like this and post it here. Here, I don't necessarily have to be eloquent in order to get my point across. I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who has weird crazy thoughts.


Laterz

comments equals food for thought and elicits responses from me. You can leave a random comment and I'll respond

Chapter 2
As Jason drove back home the conversation that he had just had with Sam replayed in his mind. When she revealed the fact that she was still secretly see Lucky that their breakup was only for appearance sake to keep up the undercover operation. Jason felt as if his heart had exploded inside his chest and he was bleeding to death internally.
After being with Elizabeth for a year and a half, Jason thought they were in a good place as a couple. Okay maybe that was a bold faced lie. Elizabeth had begun complaining about his job. They were never able to really spend time alone. And when they did in fact see each other all they did was argue.
He even began questioning whether or not, Jake was really his son, the boy seemed to be turning into a mini Lucky Spencer, and that worried Jason tremendously. Jake was almost two years old, with dark eyes and dark hair. Jason had yet to see anything that really resembled him. Elizabeth still didn’t even want to tell Monica, his mother about her grandson. And her best friend was Jason’s sister Emily who had just recently passed away.
In recent weeks Jason and it frequently found his mind wandering back to Sam. It seemed as though she was everywhere. Jason had no idea what it meant that he was sure of one thing he needed to find out why this was happening, because it certainly wasn’t going away.
--
Entering his apartment he tossed his keys onto the desk, as he put his gun in the lockbox. Jason realized he needed something to help the unsettling feeling that seemed to radiate from his body. He walked over to the liquor cabinet and took out the bottle of tequila. It had been a long while since he had actually turned to the bottle in an effort to silence the thoughts that were running through his head. It was almost 2 ½ years ago, his mind began revisiting what caused him to pick up the bottle in the first place. He was looking everywhere for Sam, unable to find her he decided to check the lake house, where Sam’s mother, stepfather and two sisters lived. He saw his fiancée having sex with her stepfather who just happens to be Jason’s archenemy. He wasn’t sure how he made it back to his apartment exactly. But once he got there he remembered throwing a lamp across the other side of the room and going straight to the liquor cabinet to get the tequila, and the rest as they say is history.
--.
A couple hours later, Jason reluctantly got out of bed since there was no way he was going to be able going to get to sleep. He picked up his cell phone, which was lying on the nightstand table.
“Stan, I need you to do some cyber sleuthing. I would have asked Spinelli, but he’s in Connecticut visiting his grandmother. Can you give me a print out of all of Sonny’s bank accounts, including the ones that he has in other countries, I need to know what transactions he is made within the last six weeks. I need them before noon today.” Jason said before disconnecting the line.
Jason did something that he hadn’t done it in a little over a year. He wasn’t even he remembered her phone number correctly. His fingers trembled uncontrollably as he dialed the phone number he thought he would never call again.
The phone rang twice and then went to her voicemail.
This is Sam.. I am unable to answer my cell at this moment but if you leave a message and a phone number where I can reach you. I will gladly call you back as soon as I can
Jason bit his lip took a deep breath and left a message,
Hey, Sam,, I’m sorry about ambushing you like I did yesterday. But there are still some things that I would like to discuss with you, so I would appreciate it if you would meet me at Jake’s at 10 p.m. tonight. For old time’s sake, it’s really important. With that he ended the call crawled back into bed at around 3 a.m. in the morning. He finally managed to fall asleep.

comment and make me feel good

Hey everyone!!

I posted the first chapter of my new Jason and Sam story earlier I didn't hear any complaints so that means I'm going to put the next chapter up. Yesterday is my cousins Courtney's wedding. The one that I didn't receive an invitation too. I've always been close to uncle Todd and his kids. My mom's side of the family totally kicks ass. They are always there for me no matter what I do. Ever since I can remember . I guess I have a lot to do with Arabic culture, my grandfather was 50% Lebanese. As a result. Yours truly is 13%, and trust me when I say I have a lot of relatives. Everybody does, but not many people see their fifth cousin Emma what his name is and such.. my father's mother has a substantial side of the family as well... as a matter of fact I was invited to a family reunion in St. Mary's Pennsylvania. The majority of my family on my fathers side, lives in Pennsylvania. The reunion is for Fourth of July weekend.. I went to the reunion Fourth of July weekend five years ago. They had a reunion in 95, but I wasn't interested in going with my father and my brother, which I sincerely regret now because I didn't realize that my father was going to die two years later.


I'm officially addicted to the Sims 3 there's tons of stuff to do I haven't discovered everything yet. At first, the graphics really sucked until I turned the graphics on high.. I've already made videos and took snapshots I plan on posting them here. So be on the lookout

Laterz

comments are love

Happy Memorial Day everybody. What did you guys do? I did nothing except creative writing I'm also watching the hundred greatest songs from the 80's . It was on repeat and since I'm a child of the 80s that's a must , it has to be on my DVR and I'm watching it while I'm typing this entry at any point during this entry I break out into song is because that's the song that they're playing right now and I just can't help myself looking back on my life thus far 26 years I'm compelled to ponder several quintessential questions how the world did I get here and where am I supposed to go from here it would really help if there was some road signs on this highway a lot of people say the where you are is actually what happened when they were planning to do something else I frequently get the feeling that I'm being laughed at by everyone he because of the crazy stuff that I do with school and everything else. I'm so excited about the Sims three coming out you have no idea.. I've been waiting a long time for the game in the beginning they said that it would be out by Christmas of 2008 then it was pushed back till February 20, 2009 and then 11 days before it was supposed to drop they moved the release date to May 2, 2009 I hate when they do things like that. The anticipation is definitely sizzling the commercial is hilarious. I hope the game is as good as they claim it to be well I guess we'll see in about a week.

I've spoken about my love-hate relationship with YouTube. One day I decided to watch Monica's cancer storyline and there were various clips available for my viewing pleasure. So I was previewed to Jason Quartermaine. Then I decided to surf through Jason year-by-year. I witnessed him in a car crash and the aftermath, including his relationship with Keesha Ward that in itself was a Greek tragedy. Personally I'm of what I saw from their relationship I didn't like it one bit Keesha to me is another Elizabeth they tend to force themselfs on people. Which is not healthy for anyone.. but at least AJ got the residual benefits from Keesha.

Seeing Jason transform was actually fun to watch, and then help me understand the character itself better.. the one fly in the ointment however, is Carly Roberts. I love Carly don't get me wrong, I don't like her character in the beginning, using Jason as her boy on the side while he was dating Robin. And then you also inevitably find inconsistencies in later storylines for example. When Carly and Sam get into that bar fight. Carly mentioned how the first night Jason and she met . They played pool and slept together, they play pool, but they didn't sleep with each other, at least not until their third meeting.

That was just wrong, and then later on in their affair. She gets all pissed off because he doesn't want to sleep with her anymore and threatens to tell Robin about their affair at her farewell party before she goes off to Yale. Carly decides not to crush Robin's soul as a graduation present and leaves that to Jason.. now Jason is about to enter a relationship with Carly at least eventually I have to continually keep telling myself that every woman that Jason has ever been with is helping turn him into the man that he is with Sam and that makes you feel 1000 times better, and since he broke up with Sam . Any woman that he is with after Sam is only a stepping stone back to her. No matter how many times they break up.

It's also interesting to see how the family dynamics of the Quartermaines have not changed in over 10 years it doesn't matter who's playing the game it's virtually the same no matter who's involved, Edward tries to be the dictator but for the most part that's not happening. Lila is the calming presence and amazingly she can pretty much control the pack of wolves and still keep her dignity. AJ is the pitiful drunk who can't stop drinking and drives everyone insane. Ned is the well-rounded one who seems to have the permanent job of peacekeeper/referee
Alan and Monica are the commentators who are quick to point out everyone's faults, but hate it when others do the same thing. It's hard to figure out exactly what Tracy's job is. She certainly isn't the voice of reason by any stretch of the imagination. She pretty much as her own motive forever argument she gets it and can switch sides as easily as change underwear.
Jason's old role in the family squabbles was comedic relief really and to be the heart of the Quartermaines. this dubious honor would later be held by Emily


now that job is consistently vacated in the Quartermaine house

New decade same core arguments at least they're consistent...

the closest family that the Quartermaine's remind me of is the Kennedys

more parallels Revelations and commentaries to follow shortly

In this journey they call the transformation of Jason: Quartermaine to Morgan

Hey everyone.. it's been a year since my grandmother died.. it's funny how after someone dies you can think about them more than you used for the most part... I know that death is a part of life that it eventually happens but you're not prepared for it when it happens.

In happier news the Yankees are kicking major ass 8 wins in a row, finally 2 and a half games out of first only one game out of second place

Jasam was on yesterday and they were absolutely adorable. Of course various message boards felt that Sam was kissing Jason's ass but there was also ample support that jumped to their defense including myself. For whenever possible reason it seems to bother people when Jason and Sam share a simple scene together. I guess that's a good thing.. I particularly liked with Sam said that the beer and the motorcycle keys remained in the same spot.

I don't see what people have a problem with honestly. It doesn't make any sense to me , but then again, I love my couple with all my heart and soul and I can't wait for them to get back together and have a full-blown love scene complete with Steve Burton's shirt off for more than 3 seconds..

Kelly Monaco + Steve Burton= Jasam explosive intense chemistry

Sims 3 drops in 11 days

Laterz

Underneath the ashes

Summary: This story is about the Karpov/counterfeit drug storyline everything, remains the same as it happened on the show, but be sure that by the end of this story Jasam will be together half the fun is getting there with one or two dashes of Lusam along the way

Chapter 1

Jason stood at the docks he had a lot on his mind; like the fact that his best friend and former business partner, Sonny Corinthos was working as a consultant for the Karpov crime family. They were well known throughout Europe as being ruthless, and they in the process of trying to make Port Charles part of their empire. Apparently, one of the other crime families, daughter, Claudia Zacchara had found out this information by witnessing the meeting between the head of the Karpov organization and Sonny.

Sonny had recently decided to sever all ties between him and the mob, because his son had gotten struck by a stray bullet while he was visiting his father at one of the many warehouses on the owned. Michael was now in a coma in critical condition at General Hospital. The doctors were unsure is Michael would ever wake up.

I should have been there, I promised him when he was a little boy that I’d always be there for him and to also protect his family, for the first year of his life he was my son. I knew that Sonny would make a great father for Michael. I thought Michael would be safer with him.

Away from the danger, away from the constant violence that I have to deal with every day, but look what happened to him as a result of Sonny being in the mob, he’s hovering between life and death as we speak.

No 10 year old little boy should have to go through what Michael is experiencing right now. What about my son Jake? Did I really make the right decision, by letting another man raise my son as his own? What does the future hold for me? Am I destiny to walk this life alone?

Before Jason could finish his train of thought, he was interrupted by his cell phone ringing; Jason reached into his left pocket and pulled out his cell phone, “Morgan.”

“Jason. Its Stan I’ve been watching Pier 30, and you’ll never believe who I saw, talking with Karpov, it was Sam, and they seem to be discussing some sort of business transaction.

Jason was totally caught by surprise, “Continue surveillance and make sure you remain unseen and wait till I get there. With that Jason abruptly ended the call and began walking the 2 ½ blocks toward the pier.

Jason had always prided himself on being able to sense danger. It was something that he had perfected throughout the years it pretty much came with the territory of being a mob enforcer. And his instinct was telling him that Sam was in more trouble than she ever bargained for.

When he reached the pier, he surveyed the area nothing was out of place except a very unsettling discussion that Sam was engaged in with a notorious Russian mobster.

“Thanks, for handling the situation Stan, I really appreciate it.” Jason said, letting his presence been known to Stan.

He just nodded and handed over an extra pair of binoculars and that he just happened to have.
--

Sam had to stop herself from shivering, not from the cold but from the man standing before her. Andre Karpov was a very powerful man, based on the research that Sam had conducted before this meeting ever took place.

“…So the merchandise you will be handling has to be transferred from Massachusetts Bay to the harbor in Port Charles. The shipments and the size of the cargo are subject to change as time goes on. I may also ask you to go to different ports for me on the eastern seaboard. I trust that you will be able to handle this, Miss McCall?

“As long as you can pay me in cash, Mr. Karpov, I won’t have any problem getting or receiving any of your merchandise.” Sam stated confidently.

“Excellent, welcome to the Karpov organization, I shall contact you in a few days to give you the instructions for the first shipment.” Andre said as he turned on his heel.

Sam waited until she couldn’t hear any more footsteps, and then she pulled out her cell phone and pressed eight which was Lucky’s entry on her speed dial it was then that she remembered that she couldn’t call Lucky because she supposedly had a very public breakup. Sighing she turned, and began walking towards where she had parked her car.
--

Jason watched as the meeting wrapped up and saw Sam take out her cell phone and press a button before snapping it shut again and turned toward her car. Jason jumped in his black Ford Explorer, following Sam home.
--

Sam had just gotten herself some mineral water, and was about to turn on the television she heard a knock, having no idea who it could possibly be since it was after nine o’clock in the evening. She knew for a fact the lucky didn’t get off work until 11. And he usually called at around 11:45 to make sure she was okay and to see if it was possible for him to come over.

Regardless of who it was Sam knew from the way it than knocking was that the person was definitely not going away.

She opened the door and much to her dismay, there stood her ex-fiancé, Jason Morgan, Sam’s mood changed instantly, and it wasn’t a good change, her posture became stiff and rigid and her eyes were filled with hatred.

“Can I come in? Jason asked.

“Do what you want; it’s a free country, although for the life of me I don’t understand, what the hell you’re doing here.” Sam spat out.

Jason knew that was as close as he was going to get to an invitation into her apartment as he was going to get so he stepped across the threshold.

As Sam finally spoke, “I wish I could say that I’m glad to see you Jason, but that’s obviously not going to happen, so why don’t you tell me what you want so you can get the hell out of my house.”

As usual Jason’s face did not change in the slightest, he simply asked, “what were you doing on Pier 30 talking with a man in the Russian mafia?”

“What the hell difference does it make to you anyway, you made it clear that you didn’t care if I lived or died two months ago. I don’t have to justify my actions to you anymore.” Sam stated.

“Ever since Sonny signed over his rights to Michael and Morgan he’s been acting very strange towards me.” Jason started.

“Gee I wonder why it couldn’t possibly be the fact that you had the man sign over his rights to his children, by blackmail.” Sam said with complete disdain, wondering why she had ever fall in love with someone who is an egotistical jackass.

“Sam and you know it was for the best.”Jason desperately failing to convince Sam that he was doing what he thought was for the best at that time.

“Says who oh that’s right, the Almighty Jason Morgan.” Sam said, taking a drink of her vodka and tonic, as she sat down on her couch.

“What were you doing on Pier 30 with Andre Karpov the head of the Russian mafia?”Jason asked again.

“Well if you must know I’m the pilot of one of his ships.” Sam answered.

“What!! You have got to be joking, from what Spinelli and I have uncovered about him. He deals in illegal drugs.” Jason said flabbergasted.

“Now before you say anything let me explain, the new clinic than Nikolas just opened, has treated several patients, from the surrounding hospitals come to find out that the drugs that those patients were subscribed or counterfeit drugs. I came up with the idea of me going undercover to try to figure out who’s supplying the illegal drugs. There was only one potential problem with me going undercover. The fact that I’m Lucky’s girlfriend wouldn’t help the situation and in fact it would make it worse. So in order for this undercover operation work, we had a very public breakup. If I find anything I will take that information to the police and continue working with Karpov as long as I need to in order to get the counterfeit drugs off the market.” Sam replied matter-of-factly.

“So, now that you’re broken up with Lucky you decide to risk life and limb to bring down a world-renowned drug dealer do you even care that you’re putting your life in unnecessary danger?” Jason asked.

“Technically Lucky and I aren’t broken up. We staged a very public breakup to make sure that my cover was not blown.” Sam said.

“Oh, was the only thing that Jason managed to utter with that, he said goodbye and told her that he would check in on her occasionally to get more information on Karpov’s dealings.

A/N feedback would be much appreciated

hey everybody.

I'm in a really good mood despite being a little sick

I am pleased to announce that I know Kelly's last day at Peep show is June 21... I also know that her replacement is Holly Madison claim to fame is she's the ex-girlfriend of Hugh Hefner not only that but she's willing to go topless which Kelly was not willing to do to.. not to worry Kelly wasn't fired.. she had only signed up to do it for three months but apparently after she's done with this show she's going on a much-needed vacation she's been doing a seven day work week for the past couple of months but don't worry she'll be back on GH soon I don't know if we'll even know she's gone, I'm glad she was able to do this show in Las Vegas but I'm really really excited to see her back on my TV screen more than once a week.

I learned a lot of stuff from Kelly's Facebook page

Here's mine http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=24302190&ref=name

she friended me on it so under Kelly Marie Monaco

I'm also a friend of Sarah Brown(Claudia) on it so add me


I am really happy the past two weeks of Jasam scenes have been tremendously hot (they are on screen again on Wednesday) so I came up with a little present for you guys..


some videos starring them...

so enjoy they been known to have some steamy scenes without having a full-blown love scene..










Later

Hey everyone,
today's post is going to be a little different a mixed bag if you will.

My brother's wedding was 11 days ago. I had so much fun it was incredible. I've only been a part of three weddings before. When my mom got remarried I was the flower girl at the age of 6, when I was 11 I was in another wedding a cousin that I am close to got married and I was the flower girl.

In this one however am happy to report that had become a bridesmaid so I'm moving up in the world of weddings. We went down to Cape May on Thursday because we knew that the next day everybody was going to start coming around because the wedding was on Saturday. It seems like everybody and their grandmother stopped by.

The rehearsal was nerve-racking to say the least I never really fully understood what the concept was to me it was just about walking down an aisle in the church I remembered something about speed in everything from when I was little but for whatever reason I thought it would be different now that I'm older. The bride wanted me to go first she said that the important people should go first not that anyone in the wedding party was more important than anybody else as a matter of fact I just think that was her way of getting me to go first however I can't be sure so we practiced walking personally I wanted to go 90 miles an hour down the aisle. So I had to deal with the fact that I was first but then later on come to find out that after my brother and the men were married I would be the last one out of the church so the potential for disaster was pretty high on the list.. they told me that I didn't have to worry about my speed in the end because that was the end of the ceremony.

After that the rehearsal dinner, we had the whole restaurant to ourselves even though technically ourselves consisted of about 50 people. So I enjoyed the dinner but I was very worried if anything went wrong with the wedding more specifically the wedding March it would be all my fault.. at the end of the night I received a bracelet and a pair of earrings and much thanks from Amanda after the reversal dinner was over it was 10 o'clock and I had to get up tomorrow morning but of course people decided to come and have a little party not so far away from my bedroom door but thank God I was too exhausted to really pay attention to any of it.. I can't had a restless night a little because I was still concerned. And I could hear my cousins chatting with some people in our living room they said that they literally poured themselves into bed at around 4:30 in the morning. I got up at 6:50 the next morning, and promptly put on my bridesmaid's dress I really wasn't in the mood to go putting something
that wasn't my bridesmaid dress and then changing into it later so they hairdresser comes I get my hair done and I ate breakfast much to the shock of my mother seen me sitting in the table with five towels all over my body so that I wouldn't damage my dress. Then I went to the place where we would later have the reception to get dressed and get my makeup done.

The makeup artist did a fabulous job he definitely knew what he was doing which I guess is a pretty good thing when you're working on people for weddings it turns out he is a makeup artist on One Life to live now you know how crazy I get my soap operas so for the next half hour was one extremely happy camper he told me with whom he's worked on how the actors memorize their lines how long he usually has to do their makeup and things like that he said he used to watch soap operas but not anymore since he works behind the scenes. I found out that he is a huge Jason and Sam fan. He said he's even worked on Kelly Monaco and Steve Burton on occasion

And that most actors think the fans are a little crazy because we refer to them by their character name and not their real name is that for the most part they really nice though. I was a little taken aback by that for the most part I don't think we're certifiable because we called somebody by their character name I would think that most actors would find it endearing may be a little creepy but that they would accept it because that means that we enjoy their work and when we sit down five days a week to watch a show that's an hour-long we begin to feel like we know these people very well. We just want to get away from reality for a little while we don't mean any disrespect or harm. But anyway I'm over that now

The wedding itself was really beautiful complete with a soloist and organist and a trumpet
player my brother was extremely nervous and he cried as we all came down the aisle. I think he was overwhelmed the little because he was starting a new chapter in his life and getting married. they had a bishop marry them and then he presented a pair of rosary beads from the Pope. at one point in time they went in the wrong direction when they were praying to the statue of Mary they were supposed to go by the statue and not by the candles but that's okay we all
didn't care anyway we all were just so happy to see them get married. As predicted something did go wrong it wasn't a catastrophe but it could've been as I was in charge of ending the ceremony by being the last bridesmaid to leave the church I almost took my partner out with a church pew thank God I realized it before it was too late.
The next part consisted of a lot of pictures and they turned out all beautiful even the ones that I was in.

But the best part of the whole day was probably the reception. We got formally introduced as the bridal party and then Ottoman and then we were introduced for the first time as a married couple, and the crowd went wild of course their first dance was you're my best friend by Queen

Then they did then father daughter mother son dances complete with my mom crying I spend probably a good portion of the night on the dance floor I was part of the Conga line while technically I led the second half because they were moving so quick that I didn't want to run anybody over by turning up to speed on my wheelchair. We did the cha-cha slide and basically had a good time kid kind of like we were in the club there for a while but I'm pretty sure that everybody was dancing at least at one point.

Here's some pictures

<---Me in my bridesmaids outfit


<-- me and my partner for the wedding party Karl


<-- me with some of the bridesmaids


<-- wedding party plus the parents

There was only one thing that really bothered me no one from my father's family showed up. Our first cousin Joey was supposed to bring his wife Rhonda so I was really excited, he didn't show up but we really don't understand what happened since he said his RSVP card to say that he was going to attend the wedding.

Part of me feels really bad I really want to be a part of my father's family especially since he passed away but we've been hit by one major roadblock after another. But I guess it all evens out because I have a very close relationship to some of my distant cousins and when I mean distant I mean sixth cousins or further.

I'm seriously upset... it's no secret that I love the Yankees however I am seriously concerned that now their record is 17-17 which means that they're only winning 50% of their games. Which makes absolutely no sense 4 1/2 games out of first Boston in second place with only one game out so I am one pissed off Yankees fan..

Steinbrenner must be kicking himself right about now because the Dodgers are in first led by Joe Torre. The ex-manager of the New York Yankees because he fired Torre at the end of last season which made absolutely no sense because under his leadership we won seven championships 7/12 which is pretty good for a ballclub.

Hey everyone

I know I've been writing a lot lately. School is almost over. Remember I told you guys about doing some of my papers over again? Well apparently I'm still not doing the right thing because I've submitted 4 rough drafts of one paper and I'm still not getting it.. when I got to class today and sat down come to find out that our class was canceled because the professor had something which came up last minute , he managed to tell me that he wants to talk on Wednesday.. I'm trying to give him what he wants. He wants both sides of an issue. Namely, the difference between the radicals and the loyalists as it pertains to Thomas Paine's common sense the last one I submitted I really tried hard to accomplish that but apparently I'm too stupid and too dumb to actually know what the hell I'm doing I swear every time I resubmit a paper my IQ goes down at least 50 points.. he's a self proclaimed professor who was very contemptuous toward undergraduates in fact, he jokes that he should have been shot dead 30 years ago.. I agree with him that knowing how to write is important , but I think he's a very hard grader is an upper-level history class but all the students are basically falling all over themselves trying to produce the best work . A couple people actually done well and not have to resubmit anything but I like most of my class wanted to show some sort of improvement in our writing . After all, it's what I like to do in my spare time, why can't we write like we talk . It would be so much easier and it would take a lot less time. Is everyone did that then there would be no problem understanding where someone is coming from because most of the you look at the contextual clues that people do when they speak it's a lot harder to do it on paper because you work with your mind, a lot I know what I want to say, but the problem is getting stuff from my head onto the paper. Which can present a serious problem.. you're supposed to be able to explain yourself in your piece for so that somebody who's never heard of the subject you're discussing will all of a sudden become enlightened... and now a little bit more about the subject than previously thought. I mean, you guys have seen the way that I write . You guys have even seen the way I write creatively. So why can I produce something collegiate since I was in a wheelchair. I had somebody who always helped me write papers. I would tell them what I would want and they would guide me along through the process may be little more than they should have but still it was something that came out of my brain..


I talked to my godfather today. I wanted to make sure that I was invited to my cousin Courtney's wedding. While apparently I was not on the guest list, but my mother is technically my mom doesn't even go to family functions. I do I find somebody who can give me a ride and then I go. Like 95% of all engagements that they have I'm there I've always been a family oriented person. It may sound weird, but my family is my friends. At Amanda's bridal shower my Aunt Debbie was complaining that not all of the cousins were invited only a few I realized that she was talking about me as well true. I have a lot of cousins technically my second cousins are my first cousin because they were raised together so there are 22 of us altogether since my mom and my uncle were always with their cousins they were like siblings. We're hardly altogether in the same room, he but honestly, it should be that whoever wants to come to the wedding can know my godmother said that he was sorry I wasn't invited, but it the wedding reception is only supposed to be only 150 people . But I know some of my cousins are growing because they just are. Every party that my godfather has ever thrown I'm there or at least 95% of his throws . And I really want to see my cousin get married it's not like I'm asking to be a part of the wedding party however I would like to be invited . So now I'm angry.. I don't think anybody else in my family is this family oriented as I am like the poster child of family togetherness . It probably has a lot to do with the fact that when my parents got divorced, my father's family virtually disappeared from my life for about eight years so as a result, I begin hanging out with my mom's side when I was younger we used to have combined birthday parties so as a result, we would see each other at least once a month when I was very young,

so as a result I'm probably going to be pissed off throughout the rest of the day.

Laterz

Today I went to the salon and finally cut off a lot of my hair my mom paid a lot of money to give me a protein treatment is supposed to relax my hair for about 3 to 4 months and I have a lot of frizz. But apparently I can't do anything in my hair for the next 72 hours. I have to get a final blow dry. Wednesday , my hair was about 2 1/2 feet long and now I got more than it off . So as a result, I kind of feel naked . I need some feedback on my new haircut . So please comment and tell me what you really think

8 more days till the wedding

I'm excited but a little nervous.. I finally found out that I'm sitting at table 13 and my brothers wedding with the exception of me it's based on importance with my wheelchair they want me to be close to the exit door. Yesterday, it hit me pretty hard about all the important family members that are no longer here, but important nonetheless my dad, stepdad My two sets of grandparents even though I never met my grandfather on my father's side. He died when my dad was like 15. All family members that have passed away had a profound affect on me. The people in my family that I never even met cross my mind from time to time. I don't know if that makes me crazy. if it makes me a little crazy, it doesn't really matter since I am more than halfway there already.
My cousin Jackie who helps me with school and stuff is in the hospital. She has a heart problem and they don't know what's wrong.. she was fine on Monday and we were supposed to go somewhere on Wednesday , but unfortunately I was unable to go because the weather was nasty and I was worried about Jackie. As far as I know she's still in the hospital. I asked her tons of questions about my grandparents (my mom's parents) My grandfather died when I was 14 and as you already know my grandmother just died almost a year ago I asked her basic questions like where they like when they were younger my grandmother came over from Germany when she was 22 so she doesn't know what my grandmother was like as a child, but I still want to know what she was like when she first came here she was close with my grandfather they were first cousins and she was also really close with my great-grandmother, who died when I was nine years old we were also close I remember her saying prayers with me, and when I was really little I remember walking around with me pointing at pictures of family members and identifying who they were. When I was younger I was able to walk with assistance either by meone holding me by the arm pits or I was even learning how to walk in a walker Unfortunately I can't do that now . I was able to do a lot more when I was younger then I can do now. Unfortunately at the time I thought I had all the time world and I didn't understand that it will get harder as I got older and I would lose the ability to achieve the same level of goals. I've always been a stubborn person, just not in this area. I guess what they say about hindsight being 20-20 is really true

I was watching General Hospital yesterday and I saw Sam and Jason sharing a scene. I think Kelly Monaco adlibed the following line "just don't understand why Sonny Can't keep it in his pants for 5 seconds he spends five minutes after being around somebody and then he like impregnates everybody.. I think that was a direct nod to the audience I have to watch it like 40 times it was that funny and I could tell that Steve Burton was kind of surprised when Kelly said it is known around the set to have a wicked sense of humor after all this time Jasam still have this undeniably intense chemistry . Lately, Kelly has been on my screen only once a week she's doing a show in Las Vegas called Peep Show she plays Bo Peep who learns some lessons let me put it to you that way. Some people disagree with her being on GH while she's doing this project because ABC is owned by Disney they think it's inappropriate, and I think that's just BS. However she has millions of fans and the loyalty of the show and the president of ABC daytime on her side. Perez Hilton actually blogged about the Vegas show and Kelly's part in it I think he went up on stage if you guys live in the Las Vegas area the reviews are fantastic.

But I want Kelly on my screen more than she is right now. I left a message on her Facebook page she has yet to respond to my messages, but one day she will.


I figured I'd leave you with some music videos starring Jasam portrayed by Kelly Monaco and Steve Burton. So without further ado




and one of the music videos that I just completed
starring them also




I hope you guys enjoy both of them...

Laterz

hey

So on Saturday went to my first bachelorette party ever!! A limousine driver was supposed to pick me up at 4:30 to take me and my cousins into New York dinner started at seven at 530 the limo driver still hadn't arrived. So we called and found out that they had deleted my reservation from the computer so my uncle had to call the place just to find the limo company you who I could use for the day unfortunately no such luck my cousin's boyfriend canceled his plans to go to Atlantic City just to take us girls to the bachelorette party my cousin Christine was able to come because she dislocated her knee, when her pet pig started chasing after another pagan bumped right into her. (She works at the farm at her school) so as a result she is in a wheelchair with her leg in a brace. She can work for a while because of the injury, but she can certainly go to a bachelorette party . There was no dancing or anything like that at the party. It was mostly dinner and a lot of drinking. We got there really late at like nine o'clock and their reservation was only from seven until 10, but thank God we didn't get kicked out or turned away or anything. I ended up having a chicken fajita, minus the fajita part as gifts we gave her a bunch of lingerie, so as a result, I can't post all the photos until after the wedding. It was a prerequisite that I drink alcohol at the party not my usual soda . So I ordered a strawberry margarita or more specifically was ordered for me and I was ordered to drink it. I really enjoyed it actually. It didn't taste that bad. You could still taste the tequila and it was really strong. So as a result I only drank about three quarters of it, because everybody at the table was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to drive my wheelchair and my cousins were also worried that I'd throw up on them during the ride home. And I was getting a headache in the room was tilting to the side a little. So I stuck with soda the rest of the night. But now I've found another alcoholic beverage that I can actually tolerate in terms of taste at least strawberry margaritas, I like strawberry daiquiris and well I'm not too crazy about the rum. So as a result, I basically waste a drink and order a soda shortly thereafter . However with the strawberry margaritas it seems to be a completely different story. So it's 10 days until the reversal dinner down in Cape May am I ready for it?? I'm not sure I'd know Amanda for almost half my life, but after my brother gets married our relationship is probably going to change and I'm not sure that I'm ready for that really if you haven't noticed by now I'm scared of the unknown that stuff terrifies me because I automatically think when something is going to change it's going to be for the worse not better.. I become a lot more optimistic, but most of the time people don't see that because I'm petrified about it. It's been almost a year since my grandmother passed away. Going on to keep me still doesn't feel right without her even though a couple years before she died she stopped coming down to the house in Cape May. I never used to like Cape May , and I'm still not that crazy about it either. A couple years ago I started going down the Cape May every other weekend with her. I still think of the room that she slept in, which was basically the family room as her's. It has a big TV and everything. A lot of my German relatives, are coming I haven't seen them for a year now. Sometimes one of them would come stay for two weeks and then six months later, another family member would do the same thing. So pretty much every six months. I would see one of my German relatives, if not several it's going to be so weird now that my grandmother's gone to see them. I mean, basically they would come just to visit with her and now they really don't come to see us that often. My grandmother was ecstatic when she found out that her eldest grandson, and his long-term girlfriend had gotten engaged they were dating for 12 years basically, she even started crocheting something for her first great grandchild, I think. There are many things that remain unfinished at least in perspective, I wanted her to see me get married, graduate with my bachelors degree in whatever. See my brother get married children. My brother and Amanda didn't set the wedding date until a couple months ago, partially because they were having a hard time finding a priest that was available, and partially because my grandmother had just passed away. It's amazing to me, that I've been living my life without her for almost a year, I still think about her every day wondering what she's doing, how she's feeling. Besides happy, I mean, I always wonder if she misses us. And if she sad that she can't be with us. I just found out my cousin Courtney is getting married about two months ago, I don't know if I told you guys or not but I found out at Amanda's bridal shower. Her and her boyfriend have been going out for about six years he was planning on proposing soon, but things didn't go that way now she's expecting a little baby boy and getting married

Happy Easter

I have some things that I need to get off my chest

I'm trying to edit my paper, I have no idea what I'm doing he wants me to compare and contrast the Loyalists to the revolutionaries in their way of thinking at least in terms of Thomas Paine's common sense say it's not going very well . To me directions weren't very clear. I'm supposed to have the report on by now, but I'm having a lot of difficulty. I just finished and it turned out to be two pages and one line on the third page

I tried on my bridesmaid dress Friday after it was tailored and there's one potentially serious problem. It was tight on me so that means that I gained some weight big surprise so I have to get rid of the excess water in my body.

On Sunday, my family came over and we had a very nice time together, I presented my paper, that my aunt had corrected the one that I got a C. on and every one who was across the table basically thought I was yelling at her because my teacher didn't like my paper. That wasn't what I was doing when I'm frustrated my voice rises naturally, I wasn't yelling at her I was trying to understand exactly what the professor wanted since I didn't really understand what I needed to do.

There were some major roadblocks in the family gathering. The wedding is fast approaching. So now it's a race against time to get everything ready. It's going to be great day, however, me being sensitive, sometimes is not a good thing. I was originally specific paired with my uncle for the walk down the aisle and other things, but my brother changed it on me and I have to walk with someone I've never met in my entire life. I had originally complained to my brother that I didn't want to be paired with his best friend John. And apparently there's someone who's even worse than him and I'm paired with that guy. I'm going to have to get dressed at the house. Instead of where everyone else gets dressed, Amanda says that it's because at the house I have everything I could possibly need. Regardless of that, I feel isolated, which is a feeling I don't like or appreciate , for obvious reasons . Being disabled is hard enough without anybody adding to it. But then again I'm probably just being overly sensitive.

My New Jersey Devil paper has been considerably shortened. Thank God for a kind professor. It is now 6 to 8 pages . The only question is how the hell am I going to fit the New Jersey Devil into 6 to 8 feet. I'm afraid that I will either have too much or too little information, honestly there are many books on the myth itself.

My professor does not believe in the devil myth. So will that influence my grade. That's a question that I have the answer. Personally I think that it's a very plausible . I do believe in the unexplained.. there are a lot of things in this world that I have yet to understand
as a Catholic my faith is based upon something that I don't see. At least not with my eyes but my heart and soul has seen it I don't think I'm special enough to actually witness it yet, there are very few people who get to see it while they're on the earth but for many more people we see it when we die. It's something that I look forward to, this is just a stop in my ultimate journey okay I'm getting a little too philosophical here, but when you realize something like that you have to write it down or in this case type it

on Friday went to a banquet with a bunch of brothers for my fraternity Alpha Phi Omega. In fact have multiple pictures it was such a good time. The last time I went to a banquet with my fraternity members was in 2007 our chapter has grown so much I'm posting a couple pictures so that you guys can have visual stimulation.




Me getting my dance on --->






<---My Fam


<---Alpha Phi Omega brothers '08-'09

Hi everybody I know it's been one day since I last wrote on just incredibly frustrated. The history of New Jersey class requires that you write four papers graded them 3 to 4 pages and one 10 to 12 pages I've handed in all three of my 3 to 4 pages and so far my grades stand at a C- and a C . So now my petrified to write the research report because that's a whole hell of a lot of writing and if I can only get a C. on anything in its class I'll be ready to kick some ass. My aunt helps me edit my peepers basically, she turns it into English because when I write a paper I tend to ramble and say the same thing multiple times in various ways I asked him what to do to make the paper better and he says read the comments that they don't really help much. He's very contemptuous toward undergraduates he says that scholarly writing is something that we all need to master. Especially if you're a history major, which is my major. But honestly I've never gotten more than a B or B- in years at least on paper excluding the years were I kind of didn't pass anything.